erma bombeck Quotes

I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.

- Erma Bombeck

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

- Erma Bombeck

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

- Erma Bombeck

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

- Erma Bombeck

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

- Erma Bombeck

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?

- Erma Bombeck

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.

- Erma Bombeck

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

- Erma Bombeck

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.

- Erma Bombeck

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

- Erma Bombeck

You focus on telling stories,
we do everything else.