Michael A. Wood Jr. Quotes

“Why anyone’s argument for god(s) is fallacious, especially as a causal agent:Imagine Michael and Jessica are at Jimmy’s house sitting at the kitchen table. Jessica steps outside to take a phone call. When she returns her drink is spilled. Jessica asks, “How did my drink get knocked over?” Michael replies, “It was a SnickerDoodle.”J: “What’s a SnickerDoodle?”M: “It looks a little like an elephant but it is small, pink, and invisible.”J: “Is it invisible or pink? It can’t be both.”M: “Well, it is. You can’t understand what the SnickerDoodle looks like.”J: “Zip it. SnickerDoodle’s are not real. How did my drink get knocked over?”M: “Well, it was Jimmy’s cat, but it was because he was chasing the SnickerDoodle, so the SnickerDoodle made him do it.”J: “Stop with the SnickerDoodle, you weirdo.”M: “Just kidding, it was Jimmy’s cat, I don’t know why.”We have no reason to believe that SnickerDoodle’s are real. Without SnickerDoodles being established as possible causes to drinks being knocked down, then there is no point to discussing them as the cause of Jessica’s drink being knocked over. In similar fashion, we have to establish that cats are a possible reason that drinks get knocked down. Okay, we have established that cats are real and capable of doing so. It is now a viable option, but in order for Michael’s story have any plausibility, we not only have to establish that a cat did it, we have to establish that it was Jimmy’s cat, or that Jimmy even has a cat.Believers cannot get to step one, establishing that any god is even a viable option on the list of possibilities. Then even if gods were proven to be real, you still have to prove that it was your particular god, or that your particular god exists. To argue that your god is real, is like Michael arguing that Jimmy’s SnickerDoodle knocked over Jessica’s drink. Can grown-adults take that argument seriously? Really?”

“Why anyone’s argument for god(s) is fallacious, especially as a causal agent:Imagine Michael and Jessica are at Jimmy’s house sitting at the kitchen table. Jessica steps outside to take a phone call. When she returns her drink is spilled. Jessica asks, “How did my drink get knocked over?” Michael replies, “It was a SnickerDoodle.”J: “What’s a SnickerDoodle?”M: “It looks a little like an elephant but it is small, pink, and invisible.”J: “Is it invisible or pink? It can’t be both.”M: “Well, it is. You can’t understand what the SnickerDoodle looks like.”J: “Zip it. SnickerDoodle’s are not real. How did my drink get knocked over?”M: “Well, it was Jimmy’s cat, but it was because he was chasing the SnickerDoodle, so the SnickerDoodle made him do it.”J: “Stop with the SnickerDoodle, you weirdo.”M: “Just kidding, it was Jimmy’s cat, I don’t know why.”We have no reason to believe that SnickerDoodle’s are real. Without SnickerDoodles being established as possible causes to drinks being knocked down, then there is no point to discussing them as the cause of Jessica’s drink being knocked over. In similar fashion, we have to establish that cats are a possible reason that drinks get knocked down. Okay, we have established that cats are real and capable of doing so. It is now a viable option, but in order for Michael’s story have any plausibility, we not only have to establish that a cat did it, we have to establish that it was Jimmy’s cat, or that Jimmy even has a cat.Believers cannot get to step one, establishing that any god is even a viable option on the list of possibilities. Then even if gods were proven to be real, you still have to prove that it was your particular god, or that your particular god exists. To argue that your god is real, is like Michael arguing that Jimmy’s SnickerDoodle knocked over Jessica’s drink. Can grown-adults take that argument seriously? Really?”

“This gentleman here, Michael Hussey, is just an absolute freak.”

“Michael looked embarrassed. “No, I don’t really… I mean in real life, I don’t do that. I read BDSM once in a while, but honestly, I prefer the sweeter romances.”“Sure. I believe you. Bondage Ben.”“Stop it.” Michael laughed.“Cracky McCracken.” James flicked an invisible whip.“I am not! I’m more like Nick Normal.”“Nipple Clamp Ned.”“Vince Vanilla.”James gave him a dubious look and snorted. “I doubt that very much.”Michael shrugged with an evil little smile. “Well, maybe not entirely vanilla.”

“You know, Michael,” Pastor Charles would often tell him, “some men get high on drugs and make a mess while they are high; others get drunk and behave like animals while under the influence of alcohol; and you Michael, you fall in love and lose any sense of reality. It is the same like getting high. You are an addict too. You are addicted to women. But not in the perverted pornographic or sexual way. Sex is just a part of it. Your addiction is more about love. You are addicted to falling in love. And the only remedy for your addiction is the ultimate love; love of God and love for God. Turn to God Michael. He loves you. Show your love for him and you will be healed.”

“As we move into unprecedented changes in our world, new and better tools are needed for meeting the challenges. The Michael teachings are one such tool.”

“Michael scrambled around again and kissed James’s lips and cheeks in brief, silly pecks.“Breakfast?”“You offering or ordering?” James grumbled.“I’m offering to cook if you’re offering up the groceries. Do you have eggs?”“No, I have sperm. What the hell do they teach you in school these days?”Michael giggled. “Chicken eggs, wise ass. In your refrigerator.”

“The benefit of personal growth and self-discovery is that we become better human beings with the strength to endure and carry on, and then we may experience something magical when we begin to reach out to others. We discover a feeling that is so rewarding and fulfilling: that fact that we can make a difference. Here is to your willingness to begin with making a difference with yourself!Michael James”

“Yeah, I get it; you're a vampire," she said. "Creepy. And okay, a little hot, I admit." "You don't mean that." "Come on. I still like you, you know, even if you... crave plasma." Michael blinked and looked at her as if he had never seen her before."You what?""Like. You." Eve enunciated slowly, as if Michael might not know the words. "Idiot. I always have. What, you didn't know?" Eve sounded cool and grown-up about it, but Claire saw the hectic color in her cheeks, under the makeup. "How clueless are you? Does it come with the fangs?" "I guess I... I just thought... Hell. I just didn't think... You're kind of intimidating, you know." "I'm intimidating? Me? I run like a rabbit from trouble, mostly," Eve said."It's all show and makeup. You're the one who's intimidating. I mean, come on. All that talent, and you look... Well, you know how you look." " How do I look?" He sounded fascinated now, and he'd actually moved a little closer to Eve on the couch. She laughed. "Oh come on. You're a total model-babe." "You're kidding.""You don't think you are?"He shook his head. "Then you're kind of an idiot, Glass. Smart, but and idiot." Eve crossed her arms.“So? What exactly do you think about me, except that I’m intimidating?”“I think you’re…you’re…ah, interesting?” Michael was amazingly bad at this, Claire thought, but then he saved it by looking away and continuing. “I think you’re beautiful. And really, really strange.”Eve smiled and looked down, and that looked like a real blush, under the rice powder. “Thanks for that, “ she said, “I never thought you knew I existed, or if you did, that you thought I was anything but Shane’s bratty freak friend.”“Well, to be fair, you are Shane’s bratty freak friend.”“Hey!”“You can be bratty and beautiful,” Michael said. “I think it’s interesting.”

“A friend once told me "Michael, if you were a villain, you'd be the Joker," to which I replied, "no, dear friend - if the Joker were a villain, he'd be ME.”

“Even the strongest, most well-built team will, at times, be met with adversity.  What makes us great is not that we should anticipate less adversity the stronger that we become, but rather that in anticipation of adversity we become stronger.”  -Michael Joling”