The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

P.G. Wodehouse, Very Good, Jeeves!

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More Quotes by P.G. Wodehouse

...with each new book of mine I have always the feeling that this time I have picked a lemon in the garden of literature.

- P.G. Wodehouse

The awful part of the writing game is that you can never be sure the stuff is any good.

- P.G. Wodehouse, P.G. Wodehouse: A Life in Letters

The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.

- P.G. Wodehouse

Girls do go for the finely-chiselled. And apart from his looks, he's and artist, and there's something about artists that seems to act on the other sex like catnip on cats.

- P.G. Wodehouse

He lost his appetite for reading. He was afraid of being overwhelmed again. In mystery novels people died like dolls being discarded; in science fiction enormities of space and time conspired to crush the humans ; and even in P.G. Wodehouse he felt a hollowness, a turning away from reality that was implicitly bitter, and became explicit in the comic figures of futile parsons.

- John Updike, Pigeon Feathers and Other Stories

Why do you want a political career? Have you ever been in the House of Commons and taken a good look at the inmates? As weird a gaggle of freaks and sub-humans as was ever collected in one spot.

- P.G. Wodehouse

It went automatically to a heavy-weight mother with beetling eyebrows who looked as if she had just come from doing a spot of knitting at the foot of the guillotine.

- P.G. Wodehouse

I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd to tack a 'sir' on to every sentence. The two things don't go together.

- P.G. Wodehouse, Thank You, Jeeves

The cells smell is a great feature of French prisons. Ours in No.44 was one of those fine broad-shouldered up and coming young smells, which stand on both feet and look the world in the eye. We became very fond and proud of it.

- P.G. Wodehouse

It was my Uncle George who discovered alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

- P.G. Wodehouse

You focus on telling stories,
we do everything else.